Imagine arriving at a place of profound quiet and peace, a monastery-like place, away from the anxieties, turmoil, and bustle of complex daily lives. Imagine being allowed to bring only one small backpack with you, containing only the most basic needs. Imagine, as you enter, your senses being surprised by delightful and unexpected experiences. Imagine that you know, as soon as you enter, that your quest for meaning has ended. This is where you will settle at last.
A Season of Mystery offers such a retreat.
Huston’s title excites my imagination: how delightful – to think of the second half of life as a mystery. And that would seem to suggest that retirement, which may arrive well into the second half, is even more mysterious.
In each chapter, she shares her experiences: the mother of a blended family who moved to a “sandy, weed-choked field” and an “supremely ugly spec house” (1), she catalogues her growth from romantic to hard laborer, from isolated and somewhat snobby teacher to good neighbor, from one who denied aging to one who accepts its reality.
She discovers a monastery and, instructed by the monks, shifts her perception of the issues of aging. The resulting chapters are part auto-biographical, but they go deeper than the story of her life.
The subtitle of her book is “10 Spiritual Practices for Embracing a Happier Second Half of Life.” I was surprised to find that these practices are not what I expected, i.e., practices that fit in the doctrine of religious institutions, such as prayer, worship, and alms-giving. Nevertheless, they are spiritual, in that they address issues that can affect our spirits.
Beginning with a chapter entitled Arriving, she details her entrance into the second half of life, when she compares herself to her mother at that age, looks at the cultural myths surrounding aging, and decides to seek a more truthful view of what it means to have passed this milestone.
In the following chapters, Hutson details the practices that led her to a new comfort with aging. The first practice is Listening, a habit she learns from a remarkable friend, Margaret, who faces difficulties in her life with remarkable joy. When she asks Margaret what she does most days, when she is alone with little human contact, Margaret says she “listens.” She has developed aesthesis, “the lone sense that orients the entire person through the unmistakable presence of God” (Diadochus, qtd. 8)
In the practice of Delighting, she shares the story of a monk and his relationship with a blue jay; in Lightening, she speaks of her own rush to rid herself of possessions. Settling means a shift from a life of questing (seeking self-esteem, self-fulfillment) to settling down and thus achieving wisdom.
In Confronting, she traces the difficulty in standing up against a troublesome, even dangerous, situation, and in Accepting, she watches as a dear uncle faces debilitating physical decay and, eventually, death. She encourages her readers to practice Appreciating, and Befriending, as she describes agreeing to relationships with neighbors she had avoided. The chapter entitled Generating explores the legacy she will leave behind, and the one named Blessings explores embracing holiness in order to bless others.
The last chapter, one that may be challenging for readers, is Departing. She identifies the ultimate mystery in this second half of life: preparing to leave it. She catalogues the good-byes, “bidding farewell to this blue and beautiful planet. . .to mountains, redwoods, rivers, herds of caribou and pods of whales . . .the night sky and the great lamp of the moon” (118). She details the deaths of Friar Bernard, the monk to whom she was most attached, and of her uncle, who has had a great influence in her life. She describes being with her friend Margaret who is suffering from terminal cancer. There are, in her experiences, an acceptance and a peace. The last line of the chapter is the insight that comforts: “life, even in the face of death, is irrepressible” (126).
The final effect of each of these chapters, of all the perceptions she shares, requires something of her readers: we must be willing to listen to her advice and begin to apply these practices to our lives. In this way, we honor Hutson as one who blesses us. As we read, we might ask: What small things can I delight in today? How can I simplify my life? Am I ready to give up questing and be joyful in settling where I am? What gifts can I leave my children, and whom can I bless?
And, as we incorporate each of the practices into ourselves, we are led to shift from the dread of old age to find joy, purpose, and peace in the reality – and the mystery of this time in our lives.
Huston, Paula. A Season of Mystery: 10 Spiritual Practices for Embracing a Happier Second Half of Life. Chicago: Loyola Press, 2012.