Resilience

Each morning, as I take my walk through a neighboring park, I see a beetle moving its little legs furiously as it crosses the sidewalk for the safety of the grass.  I wonder where it’s going – what motivates it to risk the sidewalk, where big feet can crush it – to travel to the grass.  And somehow, I find it encouraging to know that, no matter what chaos and disruption in the human world, underneath it all there are beetles doing their beetle thing without any attention to my anxieties and cares.  It reminds me that some things are stable, unchanging.  I suspect that beetles have been doing this for centuries.

Enlarge the picture – human beings moving our lives relentlessly across the days and years of a life, seeking safety, security, stability.  We keep daring to live, even when we are exposed to being crushed by things that seem so much bigger than we are – pandemics, brutal weather, a brutal economy. 

As retirees, these conflicts are particularly dangerous – we are most vulnerable to COVID- 19, most likely to die from extreme heat or cold, most affected by inflation that robs us of important dollars in our fixed incomes.

Beetles, no doubt, do not race across sidewalks because their microscopic brains tell them it’s a good decision – they move because of instinct.  But instinct aside, we have brains that we use to make decisions, to choose responses, to decide whether or not to keep moving through our lives.  But to successfully navigate these challenges, we need to draw upon our resilience.

I’ve been reading a new book by John Eldredge entitled Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times.  Resilience is the ability to draw upon inner strength in the overcoming of crises, but the constant battering from “turbulent times” can deplete that strength, and cause us to withdraw, give up, lose hope.  Because Eldredge is a Christian author, the message of the book is that our resilience comes with our connection to and unity with God.

But whether my readers consider themselves followers of Jesus or not, we can agree that resilience is becoming more and more critical in these times. 

I saw differing levels of that strength in the reaction of my friends and family to the COVID crisis – several of my friends with health issues were rightfully cautious, but those with resilience (and who were also young and/or healthy) were not cowered by the threat of the illness, taking the necessary precautions but continuing to live full and active lives.  Those without it (even if young and/or healthy) continued their isolation – essentially choosing to shut themselves off from their own lives.

In 2021, Texas faced another challenge – an unheard-of freeze (12⁰ in Houston) coupled with the malfunction of the power grid.  I experienced three days without power, without heat.  Again, I saw the reaction of those around me – some weathered on (pun intended) while others were terrified, unable to draw on either inner strength or hope of relief to go through those few awful days.

In both of these crises, we had the option of isolating – shutting ourselves up, cowering in place.  But then inflation hit. 

We cannot hide from inflation, cannot shut ourselves away from it.  The lack of buying power will affect  retirees no matter where we live or how we try to hide.  To face this crisis, we need resilience.

I encourage you to read Eldredge’s very hopeful book – and of course, he can outline a path which goes far beyond what I can do in a single post.  But I have some ideas to share with you.

First, to build resilience, we can look at the strength of those we admire, and emulate their paths.  I try to follow the examples of two role models in my life, two aunts who were beset with unresolvable challenges and yet chose to embrace their lives, to value them beyond the conflicts.

My Aunt Maxine was diagnosed with MS when she was in her late 40’s; my Aunt Helen’s only child, my cousin Bruce, was severely disabled by Cerebral Palsy.  Both of my aunts made a choice to resist self-pity and complaints, to live full and rich lives.  They drew upon inner strength to deal with the problems caused by these illnesses, to look beyond the problems to joy.  The secret of their resilience?  They had a firm belief in the triumph of the good.

I think about the challenges of Maxine and Helen and compare them to the trifling crises I have faced, and I am humbled.  If they could continue to live deeply and joyfully, then certainly I can. Their example of strength helps me find my own reserves, encourages my resilience.

Second, I believe each crisis in our lives can actually increase our strength so we can successfully meet the next, inevitable conflict.  How do challenges build strength?  They build our store of experiences, and, if we are wise, teach us important lessons.  Each of these events can point us to the need for a paradigm shift, the need to focus on what matters, what is valuable and necessary for a successful retirement, and, indeed, for a successful life.

Consider:  what lessons did you draw from your time dealing with the pandemic, from critical weather events?  What lesson can you draw from the current crisis, inflation?

For me, all three have led me to consider my attitudes: in the past, I simply never noticed how marvelous an electric thermostat is; I never thought about the privilege of shopping in any store or being seated in any restaurant.  Now I am grateful – for electricity, for maskless shopping, for the shops and restaurants that have opened again, and I have vowed never to take these things for granted again.

I see a positive lesson from inflation as well – the necessity to prioritize where I spend my money.  I have long thought that Americans (self included) are too materialistic and too convinced that owning many possessions and status symbols will bring happiness. Inflation requires us to pare down, to find joy in smaller, freer things – an awareness of nature, gratitude for family, staycations – in short, inflation requires me to let go of the pursuit of things for the pursuit of a deeper, more lasting happiness.

I am grateful for having weathered the pandemic and the freeze – and I am finding ways to adjust to inflation.  My aunts believed that, in spite of tremendous difficulties, life is good.  The lessons I have learned are the same:  life is good.

And so, I will keep moving across the sidewalk, keep aiming for the safety and security of the grass – knowing that I can meet and overcome the next challenge.