I remember my 7th grade English teacher, Miss Sowell, writing on the board, in her carefully crafted handwriting, this quote from Walt Whitman: “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been.’”
Having reached retirement and also achieved the status of “senior,” it would be easy to look back and think, “It might have been.” Of course. What life does not involve choices that lead, to paraphrase Robert Frost, down one path, to the exclusion of another? How easy it is, now, to look back at decisions and wonder how life might have been different if we had chosen the other option.
When I was in high school, I considered applying to become a foreign exchange student, to live in France with a family and get to know the country in a way unavailable to tourists. I did not apply, for I was frightened of being in a strange place with people I did not know.
All of these years later, all I can say about France is that I have never been there, and that it might have been.
But I think what Whitman (and Miss Sowell) was really getting at was making the most of opportunities that present themselves now, so we do not have to spend our futures regretting missed chances. I cannot change having missed France, but I can ensure that I do not miss chances that arise today.
I would like to add another observation to Whitman’s slogan, one that is particularly applicable to retirees: the next saddest words are these: “It’s too late.”
Yes, it is too late for some choices. I would love to be an Olympic athlete, but it is too late. I would love a career as an architect, but it is too late.
But my concern is that I do not say “It is too late” to change something about myself that would improve my life, or more important, the lives of others. It is never too late to take care of my health, to manage my money more efficiently, to meet new friends, to learn something new. It is not too late to volunteer, to spend a few hours a week as a hospital volunteer, as a helper at a church, as a political campaign volunteer. I have met retirees who have fallen into the too late trap: it is too late to try to lose weight (although my doctor tells me I should); it is too late to turn off the TV and take a class at the local college; it is too late to find a church, to make amends, to change my mind.
I know retirees who are stuck in a dreary, day-to-day existence, unable to break out of monotony and the feeling of uselessness, but who are stuck there primarily because they have bought into this mindset. With each day that passes, they are building a legacy of regret: at the end, all they will have to show for retirement years is, “It might have been.”